I wonder if this will help me cheat death.
Also, I have a lunch meeting at 5055ad on Sept 9th @ 10am if that doesn't work.
Either way, I think I'm good for a while.
Future Meetings
So I set a reminder on my calendar to run from now until 5000ad. I wonder if it will work.
I wonder if this will help me cheat death.
Also, I have a lunch meeting at 5055ad on Sept 9th @ 10am if that doesn't work.
Either way, I think I'm good for a while.
I wonder if this will help me cheat death.
Also, I have a lunch meeting at 5055ad on Sept 9th @ 10am if that doesn't work.
Either way, I think I'm good for a while.
Acting Suspicious
From here on in I plan on being as shift eyed as possible.
I will open doors while looking all around me.
When people walk in my room I will close drawers and act like I was doing something else.
I will also go near their thing, and act like I am looking through their stuff
I will open doors while looking all around me.
When people walk in my room I will close drawers and act like I was doing something else.
I will also go near their thing, and act like I am looking through their stuff
Idea
Shoes are good but what if they could fly? I think I need to invent that. In case anyone out there happens to come across this invention before me, can I have it. I really need it.
Writing can be fun for you
Writing can be fun for you - it's true. A new study somewhere says that the more you write the happier you are. I am so flipping happy right now it can only be measured in huge smiles.
Man o mighty am I happy. This is fun. write write write write write write
Ye Haw!
Man o mighty am I happy. This is fun. write write write write write write
Ye Haw!
Similar yet different
Have you ever noticed how much an exclamation mark looks like an i. I mean in all the sentences I have used them in together I never really noticed that they must be, somehow related. 
I'm starting to think that the people who came up with letters and symbols were pretty damn lazy, for example:
I think the more I write things the more I will notice it! See, like there. That's insane. Who do you think is sitting the right way? The exclamation mark or the i? Is there a right way? Is there a wrong way?
Is the i the anti exclamation mark?
Is the i the anti exclamation mark?
I would assume so, hey, come to think of it, a Z looks a lot like a sideways N.
I'm starting to think that the people who came up with letters and symbols were pretty damn lazy, for example:
Pirates never say Goodbye!
Do you ever wonder what it was like to be a pirate? I imagine it was a bit annoying. You are out on the high seas all day long, and cell phone reception must have sucked. It must have been difficult to get a call through, I mean I can't get a call through after an Earthquake, how in the hell did they do it? I imagine that when they would talk to their significant others, CPA's or customer service representatives that they never said Goodbye, they would just hang up. Pirates never say Goodbye!
P.S.
Here's the best Pirate joke I have heard in a long time
"Where do you find Buccaneers?"
"On the side of your Bucking Head"
Rockefeller Center
The last time I was in New York I visited the Rockefeller Center, nice building. Then as I rounded the building I came across this, a statue of the same exact building, however extremely small in stature. That makes no sense.
The real thing is RIGHT THERE! Why the hell would I want to look at a imitation?
Look at the building, it's behind the fake one. Why in the world did someone decide to make an exact replica of something that is not more than 50 yards away?
The real thing is RIGHT THERE! Why the hell would I want to look at a imitation?
Look at the building, it's behind the fake one. Why in the world did someone decide to make an exact replica of something that is not more than 50 yards away?
WHAT A DEAL!
Check this place out! The Kitchens must be made out of candy! SUITE KITCHENS!
Not only that, you can get managers on discount!!! I'm imaging they are all sitting on a shelf gathering dust! I'll take you Mr. "If you've got time to lean you're got time to clean" manager! And at $79..what a bargain!
But remember - grab from the back, the newer ones are always in the back, like milk in a grocery store.
I tried to get a closer picture but ole "pedal to the medal" Hood didn’t want to stop, so we did a “roll by” and this was all I snapped. Thank BH
Not only that, you can get managers on discount!!! I'm imaging they are all sitting on a shelf gathering dust! I'll take you Mr. "If you've got time to lean you're got time to clean" manager! And at $79..what a bargain!
But remember - grab from the back, the newer ones are always in the back, like milk in a grocery store.
I tried to get a closer picture but ole "pedal to the medal" Hood didn’t want to stop, so we did a “roll by” and this was all I snapped. Thank BH
Is this not the seadest sight ever? Freaky motel sign...Kids Stay Free
Interestingly enough
The words alone entice you. I would read almost anything that begins interestingly enough. Who wouldn’t? It's tantalizing! It's going to be interesting, we know that. There is very little chance that I will not be interested, and if it's not all together interesting, I will at the very least walk away with something, a little nugget to tell others.
But, if you strip away the cohesive chewy goodness of the words...you may look at it another way
The 2 words really have no place being together.
Interestingly mean "in an interesting manner", and Enough means "sufficient to meet a need or satisfy a desire" (thanks handy online dictionary!)
So it's like saying "I have some interesting news for you and it should be enough for your little mind."
Well, where in the hell do you get off sir?
Thespian - the word
Did it ever strike you funny that the word Thespian is very close to Lesbian? Do you think that maybe someone back in ye' olden days was a lesbian, and was almost caught by the ye olden days police and instead of getting nabbed she decided to pull some trickery and ye olden tom foolery and said, no, I'm not a lesbian, I'm a Thespian.
Once the police left she then had to think fast and get a one act play together and stop kissing her girlfriend in public.
Hey, the spelling of the word public is dangerously close to pubic…that's funny
Once the police left she then had to think fast and get a one act play together and stop kissing her girlfriend in public.
Hey, the spelling of the word public is dangerously close to pubic…that's funny
Gouda, the cheese the world forgot
(originally written December 7, 2005)DAIRY ISLE:
After a day of hard work and giving my full efforts at my job I took the time, after my wife ordered me, to go to the grocery store to pick up some provisions. As I was perusing the isles I came to the dairy section. Pass the milk, the yogurt and the sour cream was the cheese section.
The cheese section being the most revered section in the supermarket has become quite a difficult section in recent years with the onslaught of new cheese variations, old cheese’s variations, and cheese’s mixed with jalapeños which I consider the Studebaker of the cheese world. Sadly, the most over looked cheese in the cheese world today is Gouda.
Gouda over the years has never faltered, never bowed down to trends. Sure you may find a “light” Gouda, but do you ever see a “Sharp” Gouda, or a “Mild” Gouda, or even a Gouda shaped like John Travolta? Huh? NO! Gouda has never changed. It is still wrapped in the crazy edible wax wrap, and it still tastes like Oak. WOOD BABY. That’s right? You want to eat cheese that taste’s like wood what do you think about? Gouda!
After a day of hard work and giving my full efforts at my job I took the time, after my wife ordered me, to go to the grocery store to pick up some provisions. As I was perusing the isles I came to the dairy section. Pass the milk, the yogurt and the sour cream was the cheese section.
The cheese section being the most revered section in the supermarket has become quite a difficult section in recent years with the onslaught of new cheese variations, old cheese’s variations, and cheese’s mixed with jalapeños which I consider the Studebaker of the cheese world. Sadly, the most over looked cheese in the cheese world today is Gouda.
Gouda over the years has never faltered, never bowed down to trends. Sure you may find a “light” Gouda, but do you ever see a “Sharp” Gouda, or a “Mild” Gouda, or even a Gouda shaped like John Travolta? Huh? NO! Gouda has never changed. It is still wrapped in the crazy edible wax wrap, and it still tastes like Oak. WOOD BABY. That’s right? You want to eat cheese that taste’s like wood what do you think about? Gouda!
Elephants should not swim
I really do not feel that swimming would be something that an Elephant would want to do. I mean if you think about it, they are very big. Now I know you are saying, yeah they're big, but so is my Uncle Joe. This is completely different. In the Pack-of-Derms the saying isn't as big :...as an Elephant", it's "...as big as one of us".
I'm not trying to be funny, I really mean it. They are HUGE! It's a stupid thing. Do you ever think that Elephants know they are huge and try to deny it? "...what, this weight? No it's all trunk weight"
They should think of another sport. Like peanut spitting. They love peanuts, so why not?
I'm not trying to be funny, I really mean it. They are HUGE! It's a stupid thing. Do you ever think that Elephants know they are huge and try to deny it? "...what, this weight? No it's all trunk weight"
They should think of another sport. Like peanut spitting. They love peanuts, so why not?
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